Sharing some thoughts
I then read Nancy's blog titled "Can" and watched the video (it did take me 3 times to get through it). How incredibly inspiring. It makes me want to be the best person I can and do everything humanly possible for both of my children. What an amazing father, I just want to give him a big hug.This blog is challenging for me at times like this because I am the type of person that holds everything in. I am not outwardly very emotional. Speaking or writing down how I feel does not come naturally or easily for me. I am jealous of the ease with which some of the other blogs appear to be written so openly and honestly. I am slowly beginning to realize that keeping in emotions (particularly huge emotions when it comes to Emerson and her WS) is so unhealthy. It has slapped me in the face recently when I had to go on a beta-blocker because I have been having such severe heart palpatations. I wore a holter monitor for 24 hours and had 4500 extra heartbeats in that time frame. Not good. I am coming to the conclusion that I need outlets for my emotions and how I feel. I need to have a place to worry and seek solice. On the other hand, I know that I am a true optimist at heart. I will always try to look for the silver lining and want to see positive at the end of the day. So I hope I've provided some insight into me and why I don't post as often as I think I should or would like to. I am definitely taking better care of myself lately. I am making sure to get time away from the girls. I'm taking yoga. I'm trying to read more. And most importantly, I'm trying to see Emerson for just her and not always her WS. I am actually trying to think about WS less. I know that may become harder to do in the future. For right now, she is a happy baby and has been such a joy lately. I am more in love everyday.
Cute Emerson Story: Emerson has been smiling for a few months, but only unsolicited for the past few weeks. The whole family usually acts like complete morons to get one of her beautiful smiles. Well lately, I've been noticing that she is giving the biggest smiles to someone special all on her own. Who is the object of her affection? Newman, the family dog. When he lumbers into a room she smiles, giggles and then turns away shyly. Yes, she even flirts with him. What does he do to deserve this unsolicited affection. Well, he knocks her over, licks the drool from her chin, rests his massive head on her butt, and steals her biter biscuit when she's not keeping a close eye on it. Apparently the rest of the family needs to change their approach.